8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
