So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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