you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
