why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
