I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
