Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
