I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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