So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
