Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
