Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
