Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
