Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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