dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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