My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
