I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
