Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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