Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
