so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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