i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
