Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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