32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
