I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
