quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
