At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
