A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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