i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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