dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
