he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
