my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
