this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
