Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
