I am in a vortex of obligation.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
