You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
