the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
