Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
