okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
