she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
