when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
