yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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