I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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