After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
