i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
