I think my vagina is haunted
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
