ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
