I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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