So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
