you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
