We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
