also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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