I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
